The Muggle World
by tang0cat1
Summary: Hermione tries to teach the twins about the muggle world. Tries.


Hermione slammed her hand down on the table, making Fred and George jump in surprise.

"I am going to teach you two about the muggle world." She said.

The twins shared a look, before looking confusedly at Hermione. "Why?"

"Because you two have been sitting there for _two hours_ talking about muggle things and getting it all wrong." Hermione frowned at the two, as if it was there fault they were wizards and hadn't grown up in the muggle world.

"When?" They asked.

Hermione rolled her eyes. "Come on, we haven't got any time to waste."

The twins grinned at each other before jumping up and linking their arms through hers and pulling her out of the flat above the shop, where she had been living with Fred for the past two months.

Fred sneaked a quick glance at Hermione's laughing face and grinned to himself.

"So where are we going 'Mione?" George asked, as they stepped outside, onto the cobbled path of Diagon Alley.

Hermione shrugged. "London?"

"Are you asking us or telling us?" Fred raised an eyebrow.

"Asking you? Look, I don't really have a plan." She admitted, blushing slightly.

"So you dragged us into the cold, without a plan?" George frowned.

Hermione raised an eyebrow. "I dragged _you_? I said I would teach you about the muggle world, I never dragged anyone anywhere."

"Can it involve a warm indoor area? That doesn't cause icicles to grow from my nose?" Fred suggested, shivering slightly. He tugged his scarf tighter and pulled the sleeves of his jumper down over his hands.

She rolled her eyes, tightened her grip on the twins wrists, and disapparated. She heard the twins shout in surprise before feeling the familiar tug in her stomach and the feeling of being squeezed through a tube.

They appeared in an alley way behind a shopping centre in London.

"Why are we here?" The twins asked, looking around at their surroundings and scrunching their noses in disgust at the dirty alley way.

"That's a shopping centre. It's where muggles go to buy things. I thought if you want to learn about everything at once, go where you can _buy_ everything at once."

"What? You mean, in this building, you can buy anything you want?" Fred's eyes widened as he looked up at the huge building in front of them.

"Well not _every_ – "

"Let's go!" The twins shouted, tugging Hermione's arm and pulling her towards an entrance. They ran up to the automatic doors and stopped, making Hermione crash into the back of them. Their faces were full of wonder as the doors opened without them touching them.

"How do they do that?" George murmured, stepping away and letting the doors shut. He stepped closer and the doors opened again. Fred jumped back, pointing his wand at the doors in case they tried to attack him.

Hermione sighed and pushed them forward, hissing at Fred to put his wand away. They did not want the muggles suspecting something.

She pushed Fred and George inside. Once again, they stopped when they saw the giant TV screen, advertising a hair product.

"Are there people trapped inside that box thing?" Fred muttered to Hermione, eyeing the screen warily.

"No Fred!" Hermione laughed. "It's a television! Remember? I was telling you about them. They project images so we can watch them."

"But how does it work?" George asked, frowning at the television.

"I don't know! It uses electricity."

"Is that that thing that powers plugs and all those things Dad loves?"

"Yeah. Let's start with the one that sells TV's so that you can get the worst out of the way and then we go for easier – to – get – our – head – around things." Hermione suggested, heading towards the electrical shop that was nearest. She was halfway there when she realised the twins weren't behind her.

They were still playing with door. She heard George shout it surprise when it nearly shut on his hand.

"But how does it know I'm there?!" He exclaimed. She rolled her eyes and laughed.

Fred was eyeing the door suspiciously. He had his hand prepped to grab his wand at any second. The doors opened when someone walked through and he nearly attacked them. Hermione decided it was probably best to step in before security got involved.

She grabbed the twin's arms and pulled them towards the electrical shop. It took them a while, as the twins wanted to look at every little thing they saw on the way.

George nearly asked a manikin on a date, Fred knocked over a stall of mobile phones, and the two of them somehow managed to cause the fountain to explode in an enigma of colours.

By the time they reached the shop, Hermione was regretting her decision to bring them here.

Time seemed to go in slow motion as Fred and George freaked out when an advert came on for a TV program with a 'Dark Lord'. Fred shot a spell at it, exploding the TV, while George shouted for everyone to take cover, successfully causing a wide panic, which somehow managed to alarm the manager, causing a message over the speaker phone, causing the _entire_ shopping centre to panic.

As an effect of the TV exploding, several more devices surrounding exploded, causing a chain reaction. Security guards came running in, just as the display of CD players in the middle exploded in a colourful explosion.

Why do the Weasley twins always cause such destruction everywhere they go?

Hermione groaned, as the security guards grabbed the twins and Hermione, and started to drag them to the security office. She glared at the twins who both looked suitably embarrassed and ashamed.

They were pushed roughly into three plastic chairs in front of a large desk.

"You have just caused a mass explosion in Magpie Electricals. I have contacted the police, and they are on their way. A terrorist attack – "

"Woah, hold up! You think we're _terrorists_?" Fred interrupted. The chief security guard guy, looked extremely affronted at being interrupted. "We are _not_ terrorists."

"Well why else would you explode an entire shop?"

"I was protecting everbody in that shop!"

"From what?"

"From the Dark Lord." George said, as if it were obvious.

Hermione moaned. Why can't they keep their mouths shut?

"Excuse me sir," She spoke up. "But my friends here, have recently been dismissed from a mental institution –" She ignored the twins splutters of indignation "- and are completely fine – in some aspects – but there are certain things that set them off, and hearing that advert say the Dark Lord, just acted as a trigger. They are on medication but some things are just a bit hard to stop."

"I understand, but that doesn't explain why they carried a bomb into a shopping centre." The chief nodded.

"What, a bomb that looks like this?" Hermione took out her wand, and the chief and his fellow security guards took a step back looking extremely alarmed. Hermione sighed. She really didn't like doing this. "_Obliviate_."

A blank look crossed across their faces and they shook their heads before refocusing on the three people in front of them.

"Hello. Can I help you?" The chief smiled down at them.

The twins grinned and shook their head. "Not at all. Some sweets?" George offered the man a bag of nosebleed nougat, but Hermione knocked it out of his hand.

"Oh sorry, I'm such a klutz! Well, we best be off. Come on Fred. George." She jerked her head toward the door and narrowed her eyes at the pair of them. They shot one look at her angry face before traipsing out the room, looking more ashamed than they had before.

As soon as they had apparated back to the flat, Hermione rounded on the twins.

"What. The. Hell. Was. _That_?" She hissed at their terrified faces. They backed up slowly, so their backs were against the wall.

"Well, you see – "

"Why on earth would it be appropriate to bring your wand out in a public place?" Fred opened his mouth but she held up her finger. "Don't you dare turn that into an innuendo."

Fred closed his mouth quickly but shared a look with George, snickering slightly.

"Hermione, maybe we're just impossible to teach." George suggested.

"Well you seemed to have learnt something. How to scare the living daylights out of _fifty_ muggles!"

"I thought Voldie-warts was on the telleyfision." Fred shrugged.

The corners of Hermione's mouth twitched when Fred got it wrong. Fred saw this and winked at her.

"'Voldie-warts is _dead_." She said slowly.

"Doesn't mean he hasn't still got followers wanting to murder everyone on a crazy psychotic rampage." Fred shrugged.

"Crazy psychotic rampage?"

"Crazy." Fred nodded.

"Psychotic." George agreed.

"Rampage." They said together.

Hermione shook her head, and Fred could see her anger slowly melting away. He stepped forward and flung his arm around her shoulder.

"Look, Hermione, I know that today wasn't what you planned, but now we understand the muggle justice system within a shopping centre. That's pretty muggle to me." He said, grinning down at her.

Hermione looked up at him, still frowning. Fred sighed.

"Hermione, please forgive me…" He pleaded. "Don't bother with George. He's a bit crazy. But forgive me at least."

"I reckon out of the two of you, George is the more sane one." Hermione raised her eyebrow at him.

"Ha!" George shouted, pointing a triumphant finger at his twin. "I told you!" He started to do a little happy dance but Hermione stopped him.

"Taking back what I just said…"

"Ha! Neither of us are sane!" Fred laughed, pointing a finger at George.

"I am still the most sane."

"You're just as sane as I am." Fred grinned at his brother, quoting Luna.

Hermione bit her lip, frowning, and Fred groaned inwardly. He hated it when she did that. It was so cute and he just wanted to grab her and kiss her.

"Don't quote Luna to try and get me to loosen up, I am extremely angry at you." She scrunched up her face in another cute little frown.

At that moment, an owl flew into the window in the other room, and George went to attend to it, muttering about stupid owls not knowing where the window sill was.

"It's right there you ruddy owls." He growled, pointing at it. The brown tawny owl hooted angrily at him. He read the note quickly before grinning and breathing heavily. "Today's the day Freddie."

"What's happening?" Fred asked, bounding over to George and taking the note out of his hands. He grinned widely and clapped his brother on the back. "Let's go. Come on Hermione." He held out his arm and Hermione took it. George took Fred's other arm.

"What's going on?" Hermione looked confusedly at the two of them.

"Angelina's gone into labour." George grinned, before they disapparated.

XxXxX

They appeared in the maternity ward of the hospital, and George led them through the corridors till he found Angelina and Ginny. George let go of Fred and ran to his pregnant wife, excitedly. She was sitting on the bed, rubbing her stomach.

Ginny, who was also heavily pregnant, was sitting in the chair next to her, holding her hand, wincing whenever Angelina squeezed it. George replaced her hand with his, and gave Ginny a grateful smile.

Hermione and Fred both sat in the other two chairs on the other side of the bed.

"Where's mum? I would have thought she'd want to be here for this." Fred asked.

"She's on her way. Felt the need to inform the entire family first." Ginny said. Hermione let out a small laugh and Fred smiled at her.

Molly Weasley burst through the door at that moment, with Arthur, Ron, Harry, Bill and Fleur all following close behind.

"Angelina! How are you feeling?"

"Pregnant." Angelina muttered, groaning loudly as another contraction came. George winced as she squeezed his hand and looked at his twin for help, who shook his head laughing.

"I don't think I want kids anymore. Can you make it go away please Harry?" Ginny whimpered, looking at Angelina in panic. Harry chuckled, and sat down next Ginny, kissing her head lightly.

Ron looked extremely out of his depth, and came to stand behind Hermione and Fred.

"You alright there Ron?" Fred looked up at him.

"You look a bit pale." Hermione remarked, smiling at his worried face.

"Yeah, is this scaring you?" Fred rolled his eyes.

"You helped take down Voldermort – " George said.

"And this is what turns you pale." The twins said together.

"Oh shut up." Ron muttered, frowned at the twins and Hermione. They laughed, and rolled their eyes simultaneously at Ron. "Stop, that's really creepy. I've only just got used to twins doing it, and now you're joining in."

Fred and Hermione shared an amused look before looking back at Angelina, who was once again, having a contraction.

The rest all happened rather quickly. A healer came in and ushered everyone except George, Fred and Angelina out. Fred quickly grabbed Hermione as she was about to walk out and pulled her back into the room with him. The healer tried to argue but Angelina, Fred and George all said they wanted her there, and the healer gave in. Hermione looked at Fred, confused, but turned to focus on Angelina.

They waited for another ten minutes before Angelina was wheeled away with George and Fred and Hermione were asked to wait with the rest of the family.

When they reached the waiting room, the rest of the Weasleys and Harry had gone to the cafeteria area, leaving Fred and Hermione alone.

"Do you want kids Hermione?" Fred asked, once they had got comfy in the chairs, Hermione's legs resting in Fred's lap.

"One day. Maybe. I don't know. It'd be hard to have kids while working in a joke shop, even if it is an extremely successful joke shop." She sighed, looking up at the maternity ward sign. "Why? Do you?"

"I want 3. Two boys, and a girl. I can just see them with ginger hair running around in the shop, helping me."

"What happens if your kids don't get the ginger gene?"

"I'll be happy with little brunette bushy haired kids, as long as only two maximum are that colour."

"Bushy hair?" Hermione repeated quietly.

It was only then that Fred realised what he had said. Oh merlin. He went very still, waiting for the moment when Hermione would realise he meant her bushy hair.

"Where would you find brunette bushy hair?" Hermione tried to laugh.

"Well, can you imagine it? I think a little girl with bushy hair would be really cute."

Hermione gave him a strange look and Fred once again realised what he had said. He had literally just told Hermione that he thought little Hermione was cute. This was getting frustrating. He might as well get the shovel and choose where to start digging.

"Hair like mine is really hard to tame." Hermione said quietly.

Oh merlin. She's caught on. She knows I'm sort of talking about her. Oh merlin. Oh Godrick.

"It's nice hair though." Oh merlin. He was looked around for a shovel. It was better to start now than later. Now where was that shovel…

"Do you honestly want a little girl with brown hair like mine? Honestly?" Hermione raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah." Fred shrugged. Oh that's where the shovel was. In his brain, digging a hole through his stupidity filter.

"You're going to struggle to find someone with hair like mine."

"I could always have you."

"No you couldn't."

Fred tried not to look or sound as hurt as he felt. "I can have any girl I want." He said cockily.

"I, Frederick Weasley, are someone you have to work for." Hermione grinned confidently, moving her feet from his lap as the rest of the Weasley clan came back to the waiting room. Harry cast them a strange look but Fred ignored him.

"Any news?" Mrs Weasley asked, almost immediately. She looked extremely worried.

Hermione shook her head. Mrs Weasley sighed in worry and sat down in the chair next to her husband, who patted her on the back. Fred stood up and started to pace the waiting room.

He had plenty of thoughts going through his head, but none of them were about George and his soon – to – be child.

XxXxX

Sometime later, George emerged, looking extremely excited and tired.

"It's a girl!" He exclaimed, clapping his hands together.

Fred immediately embraced his twin in a hug, and clapped him on the back in congratulations.

"It's – it's a baby." George whispered, sounding relieved.

Fred laughed. "I know it is mate, that's what happens when someone gives birth."

George smiled at his brother and moved to hug the rest of his family.

"Are we allowed to see her then?" Ron asked, loudly.

Fred watched Hermione roll her eyes at his brother.

George gestured through the door that he had come from. "Of course brother. Come this way."

He led them through all the doors, until they reached the room Angelina was sitting in, holding a baby.

George moved to stand next to his wife, staring down at his daughter lovingly. Fred stood by his twin, making faces at his sleeping niece. Mrs Weasley walked to the other side of Angelina, looking down at her new granddaughter. She stroked her tiny cheek lovingly, and the baby gurgled quietly. Bill and Fleur stood in the doorway, while Mr Weasley stood by his wife and Harry, Ginny and Hermione stood at the end of the bed.

Angelina looked extremely tired, and it was long before everyone started to leave so she and the baby could get some rest. Fred offered to stay but Angelina refused to let him, because one look at his face told her he was extremely tired, and obviously something else was on his mind that was troubling him.

"Fine. If you want to get rid of me that badly. C'mon Hermione. I'll accompany you home." Fred sighed, holding out his arm for Hermione. This time, when Hermione put her arm through his, he felt an electric spark go through his whole body, as if her touch almost lit him on fire.

He apparated them back to the flat, and said a quick goodnight before disappearing off into his bedroom.

He didn't sleep well that night. Too many troubling thoughts flashing through his head and most of them had to do with a certain bushy haired witch.

XxXxX

Fred woke the next morning with an exciting thought. Hermione never said no. He bounded out of bed with a fresh attitude and practically skipped into the kitchen to make breakfast. When he got there, he saw that Hermione was already in there, wearing small short shorts that almost be considered underwear, just covered by an old work shirt of hers.

"What are you doing?" He asked, coming up behind her, trapping her in the corner of the counter.

"Making breakfast. What are _you_ doing?" Hermione tried to escape so she could move to put the French toast in the pan.

"Standing behind you."

"Why?"

"I need to get to this cupboard in particular." He reached up to open the cupboard above her head. He opened it, and pulled the cinnamon out of it, sprinkling it in her eggy mixture.

"I already did that."

"Did you? Did you really?"

"I did. Can I put the French toast in the pan now?" Hermione started to tap her foot impatiently.

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because I want to talk to you."

Hermione sighed exasperatedly. "About what?"

"You never said no to me 'Mione."

"What do you mean?"

"_I mean_ you never said no."

"Wow Fred. That _really_ narrows it down." Hermione rolled her eyes, turning round to face him. She had to tilt her head up to look at him, and he was even slightly bent down. It was cute how short she was.

"Think about it Hermione."

Hermione bit her lip, and Fred sighed quietly. She scrunched her face up in thought and thought about it for a moment.

Then the smoke alarm went.

"Oh merlin!" She exclaimed. She had left the butter in the pan without stirring it for long enough and it had burned. "This is your fault!" Hermione wriggled out of his trap, slapping him on the arm for distracting her.

"How is this my fault?" He frowned at her.

"You distracted me."

"Oh, I give up." Fred growled.

"Hmm?" Hermione turned around to face him, an eyebrow raised.

Fred rolled his eyes and captured Hermione's lips with his. As he moved his lips over Hermione's he moved his hand to cup her cheek and the other to the small of her back, pulling her closer to him.

At first she seemed startled, but almost immediately, she responded, bringing her hands up to play with the ends of his hair.

Sooner than Fred wanted, the kiss was over and Hermione pulled away. She looked a little flustered and her lips were slightly red and swollen.

"Do you remember what you didn't say no to yet?" Fred asked huskily.

"You said you could have any girl you wanted and I said that I was someone you had to work for." Hermione smiled up at him.

"You little – you knew the whole time didn't you?!" Fred glared playfully at her.

Hermione raised an eyebrow at her. "I'm Hermione Granger. Always one step ahead of you."

Fred kissed her again quickly. "You little minx."

Hermione laughed and ducked under his arm that was again trapping her to the counter, and ran away laughing. Fred ran after her, chasing her into his bedroom.

* * *

**Hey! This is just a little oneshot about Hermione teaching them the ways of the muggles, and it going a _bit_ wrong. Then some other drama happened and then it was cute :)**

**Review and tell me what you thought!**

**Toodle Pip xx**


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